err0r.net

Ever had so much you want to fuss about but have no idea where to start? Or better yet didn’t know how to express. I’m still wondering why I can’t seem to maintain happiness for any real period of time. I do have moments ( hours maybe a day ) where i’m pretty happy or at least very content. But it never lasts. I’m not depressed by any means. But i’m not happy either. I’m in the middle somewhere. Just blah. Maybe it’s like that for everyone. Maybe what i think life should be isn’t how it really is. Why do i let so many outside influences dictate how I feel. I have a pretty good life i think. Although i have a job that really stresses me out it’s a job i like. I started as far down the ladder as I could have and worked my way to the very top of what the company offers. The money isn’t out of this world but it’s enough. I have no problems paying my bills and buying my kids and I the extra’s we want. Maybe it’s that i don’t expect more than what i have. Or more likely I don’t try for more than i have. In many things in my life i have sat back and allowed them to come to me instead of reaching out for them. In that way i’ve missed many options i could have taken. Whose to say they were good though. But my attitude of just sit back and see what happens many not be for the best. I guess happiness isn’t something that just comes to you. You have to go out and attain it. I’m a pretty upbeat person. Always quick with a joke or story to make others laugh. I’m never upset over any one thing for very long. I seldom hold any type of grudge. Maybe it’s just this Mississippi heat. I’m going to turn up the a/c and i’m sure everything will turn out better.