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Who Can I Trust?
When there’s a grey cloud overhead?
Can I trust the living?
Sometimes it’s better to trust the dead.
Who can I trust?
When there’s no one to lean on?
Maybe her, him, or you?
Or should I go at it alone?
Who can I trust?
While in a world of hate?
I’d better find someone,
Before it’s too late.
Who can I trust,
Friend or foe?
Sometimes my friends will bruise my soul.
Who Can I trust
to call my own?
Can I look to them to give me love,
or will their love just be a loan?

I have had mixed emotions since the passing of Michael Jackson. I am part of the generation that was coming of age when his music as a solo artist was making history. His music was the catalyst for MTV and it’s rise in popularity in a wider racial format. The accusations and weird behavior since those times have led me to see him in a different and admittedly much less flattering way. Regardless of that there is no denying the influence he had in music and in history as a whole. Sadly I think this story is going to become much worse once the autopsy comes back and the facts of what were going on in his private life become more public. So before that happens and his place in my mind is tarnished even further I will make an acknowledgment to his better side. The side I remember in my youth. But in my own way. I will play a song popularized by him but will not play a song with him as the performer.

I hope he finds the peace in the afterlife that he could never seem to obtain during his life here.

James Morrison ( man in the mirror)

check her out at http://www.youtube.com/user/mystimayhem

I thought I had posted this before but I can’t seem to find it. I found this several years ago.

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
masks that I’m afraid to take off
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me
but don’t be fooled,
for God’s sake, don’t be  fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name
and coolness my game,
that the water’s calm
and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my
weaknesses
and fear exposing them.
That’s why I frantically create my masks
to hide behind.
They’re nonchalant, sophisticated facades
to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that
knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only salvation,
and I know it.

That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
and if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls

I dislike hiding, honestly
I dislike the superficial game I’m playing,
the superficial phony game.
I’d really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.

But I don’t tell you this.
I don’t dare.
I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh
and your laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing,
that I’m just no good
and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without,
And a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks,

The glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s nothing
and nothing of what’s everything,
of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I’m saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
what I’m not saying
Hear what I’d like to say
but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,
long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
you wonder who I am
you shouldn’t
for I am everyman
and everywoman
who wears a mask.
Don’t be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear

They are supposed to love you, but they do not have to
When you find out they don’t, what do you do?
Because you don’t show the pain, doesn’t mean it’s not there
Pushing it all back inside makes them think i don’t care
Laugh, make a joke, my humor is my shield
All hidden away while my sadness builds
Maybe they are right and it’s all justified
And i’ll end up just another emotional suicide